Bump In The Road

Road to Denali - Mountains - Alaska

Road to Denali – Mountains – Alaska (Photo credit: blmiers2)

 

Here I was, just a couple weeks or so ago, “bragging” (not really, but I guess you could call it that) about how comfortable our marriage is.  And then – I almost hate to admit it –

 

A bump in the road!

 

Beloved hubby was upset with me the other day.

 

It took me a bit by surprise.  I didn’t expect such a strong reaction.

 

He was genuinely displeased with me.  My reaction?

 

First the “natural man” (as it says in the scriptures) reaction flew into my mind.  Defense!  “Why should he be upset with me!  I didn’t do anything.  He has no right to feel that way.”

 

Then Heavenly Father lovingly interjects.  “Just a minute now.  He is hurt and you’re not going to help anything with that attitude.”

 

“But,” I argue, “He shouldn’t try to make me feel bad.  Besides, he should calm down and apologize for what he said.  Now I feel hurt and upset.”

 

In the conversation that ensued, between myself and God, I was reminded that I know how I should react, and, fight it though I did, I knew what I should do.  I also know that there are times that I should swallow my pride, set aside my own interests, humble myself, and go talk to the man I love (even if at the moment I’m not feeling that loving).  Because, if I do nothing, or return ill feelings for ill feelings, not only will we not move forward, but things will get worse.  And I don’t want that.

 

Therefore, I sought out Beloved hubby, and said, “Hi.”

 

“Hi,” he replied.

 

“I didn’t mean to make you feel that way,” I said.  “Well, I do,” he stated.  Again, my hackles came up.  Stop it!  “I am sorry,” I said slowly.  “It was not my intention to hurt you.”

 

And thus began a dialog that helped begin the healing process.  It did not heal everything right away.  But the process was started.

 

24 hours later, though I still felt a bit reserved, we were no longer feeling at odds with each other, and had calmed down considerably.  Comfort was beginning to return.  We talked some more.  I still had to hold my “natural man” tendencies back just a little, “No, I’m not going to allow myself to overreact, or to withdraw into myself and away from him,” I told myself, and Father in Heaven.  “That wouldn’t be right either.”

 

So, we’re pretty well back to the comfortable stage.  And this little bump in the road is pretty well behind us.  It was a bit rough for a while there.  But, it’s not what you go through but how you handle it that really counts.  I am so very thankful for the gospel and the Church in my life, to help me know how to deal with life’s problems and not let them simply run away with me.

 

 

 

 

 

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One response »

  1. I love this! The sentence “it’s not what you go through but how you handle it that really counts.” is what stood out the most to me. That is always the advice I give to newly weds. Fighting is normal, you just have to know how to handle each situation. My husband and I always take 5-10 minutes and we come back and address the issue calmly and maturely. I love how quickly we resolve things together. Thanks for sharing!

    Like

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